Why those connections matter

In a world where we are more connected than ever thanks to Facebook, Zoom, Instagram, video phone calls, House Party and the like, may of us feel more disconnected and isolated than ever before. Yes, a global pandemic with lockdowns will increase these feelings and magnify the feelings of separation but this issue was apparent before Covid-19 showed itself. But if we have the technology to stay in touch, why do so many feel alone?

There was a time when Sunday lunch with the family was a thing. The shops were closed, the footy was on Wide World of Sport and in my family, my mum and grandmother were in the kitchen pulling together an awesome roast with other family members chatting and laughing as they all pitched in – to be truthful, it was the women doing the cooking and the men watching the footy and I’m pleased to say my family has since evolved in terms of chore sharing. In any case, the family was together sharing a meal and an experience. Good times – except when it came to washing the dishes as my cousins always left early and my sister and I got stuck with them. We laugh about it now….

Fast forward and times are different. The shops are open 7 days a week, the kids have sport all weekend, we have the ability to connect to work remotely so we can just check in… and because we have all these other means of ‘connecting’, Sunday lunch with the family isn’t the priority it was in the past. None of this is a bad thing, it’s just the way life goes. But what if the one thing we learn from the pandemic is that slowing down and being present with the people who are important to us will deliver more joy and satisfaction than all that running around and being busy could ever provide?

One of the key headlines around the world is the impact that lockdowns and the subsequent isolation has had on mental health. It’s not limited to any one group – anyone and everyone can be negatively impacted when they are unable to make and foster genuine, ongoing connections. Connections can help us identify who we are and can give us purpose (e.g. sporting clubs, volunteering, hobbies, faith-based activities). Connections stave off loneliness which in turn reduces the incidence of depression and anxiety and helps us feel part of something greater than ourselves and supports our emotional resilience.

I know, it’s a little idealistic but think about this….. While the kids have missed their activities, many have flourished with less of the doing, as have many adults. What if the kids only had one or two commitments be they sports, art classes, drama lessons and so on instead of three or four? What if you were strict with the delineation between work time and home time and don’t let the edges bleed until you can’t remember ever being turned off? How about grocery shopping? In the past, we shopped once, maybe twice a week instead of every day. With the pandemic, many of us have tried to reduce the number of times we step into the supermarket and planned out our weekly meals making sure we get most of what we need in one hit.

Where could that lead us? Possibly with more time allocated to leisure, time to look after our own physical and mental wellbeing, perhaps we will be able to fit in more family time catch ups with friends. Maybe I could start cooking more Sunday roasts for my immediate and extended family – I’d make my cousins do the washing up. Underlying it all though is the fact that life is better, more fulfilling when you make genuine connections. Not just a witty comment to a friend on Facey but belly laughs over a cup of tea, hugs to soothe a broken heart, sharing a fave TV show or hitting the cinemas together to enjoy the big screen and then compare notes, kicking the footy at the local oval or watching the kids climb a tree. In person and live connections that refill our hearts, underscore our feelings of belonging reduce the psychological impact that loneliness causes.

Give it some thought. When restrictions lift, make sure you are prioritising time with the people that really matter to you and get those connections re-firing.